I'm just another fat spoonie tryingt o make it through.  Have you checked out my project: PrettySickArt.tumblr.com?

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

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Omg the biggest and most delicious grapes ever. They’re all huuuuuuungry and even the puny, fell off the vine, bottom of the bag ones are amazing.

Omg the biggest and most delicious grapes ever. They’re all huuuuuuungry and even the puny, fell off the vine, bottom of the bag ones are amazing.

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metamorphosisofmeg:

skipping breakfast is NOT an achievement

not eating lunch does NOT solve anything

restricting dinner will NOT make you stronger

(via katiescarlettspeaks)

Source: metamorphosisofmeg

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Sometimes it makes me really angry still that my mom pushed me so much towards music- and never really encouraged me in the visual arts.  I get so much joy out of creating something beautiful.

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I get so frustrated sometimes that I didn’t get the choice to take more art classes when I was younger, because I wonder if I’d have been really good at it.  But she was soooo focused and so invested in my music career track that even the few times I *asked* about trying something else, I got immediately shut down.

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I’m so satisfied being an artist.  I love creating, I love painting, and beading, and illustrating, and photographing.  I love creating and capturing beautiful things.  And it’s satisfying in a way that being a musician never was for me.   I just wish I’d been able to have that kind of contentment earlier in my life.

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I guess when you get down to it, I’ve forgiven my mom- for the deeper wounds, the bigger things, the abuse, the neglect, the narcissism.  But some of the smaller things- some of the lesser sins… they’re still with me.  I’m still figuring out how to forgive her for the little things that could have brought me some semblance of peace a long time ago.

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Life after abuse is a complicated thing.  You never really realize how many different forgivenesses you’ll have to surrender before you really and truly put it behind you once and for all.

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I’m thinking poppies.  The blue marbling is the top … 5/6 of the canvas.  I want to get more spoons, and glue 3 or so together in a fan shape, then paint them in tones of red.  I’ll leave the central spoon with it’s handle on for the stem.

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I’ll be doing a similar marbling in the bottom strip of the canvas but with greens for the grass.

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I don’t know if the spoonhead thing will work, but I’m gonna give it a try.  Probably not till next week though- it’s gonna take FOREVER for all that pain to dry, it’s pretty thick.

It’s been a long time since I actually painted anything, but I found some old canvas collages I’d done, and couldn’t resist having a go.

It’s been a long time since I actually painted anything, but I found some old canvas collages I’d done, and couldn’t resist having a go.

My Moo.

My Moo.

Moooooooooom, yer not paying attention to meeeee.

Moooooooooom, yer not paying attention to meeeee.

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high-zen-burg:

this is for all the girls who are big girls that don’t have a skinnier middle than their butt and thighs 

the ones whos bellies hang over their underwear

who’s waist size is thicker than their shoulders, butt, or anywhere else on their bodies

who’s boobs are bigger than their butts, they have curvy lumps on their backs, muffin tops, chicken legs, thick arms and smaller bodies, no boobs, no butt, all middle, whatever.

you’re loved too. don’t forget that.

(via riotingrocket)

Source: high-zen-burg

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benepla:

  • is overweight. not “a little heavy” or “curvy in all the right places”, she is overweight and she owns it.
  • is gay, and from her first public exposure has been open about this
  • has bipolar disorder
  • is one of the coolest lyricists right now
  • has this song which is way more feel good than “all about the bass” or “shake it off” 
  • is super cute
  • image
  • mary lambert

(via poetic-inevitability)

Source: benepla

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So for a few weeks now I’ve been pretty chill on the nightshade foods.  No beano necessary and my body’s processed it just fine.  

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Apppparently that little honeymoon phase is now over.

We went to Matt’s for dinner (tex mex) and afterward Kris stopped at Kroger.  I *should* have met her for dinner so I could have gone home immediately after but I didn’t realize it was going to turn into an errand run.

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By the time she got back to the car I was in excruciating pain and had to limp-run into the Kroger to use their restroom.

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It was bad.

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Now I’m home, and debated not taking my metformin because my stomach is already achy- but in the interest of consistency, I did but paired it with not 2 but 3 immodium in hopes that will settle things.

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:sigh:  It was nice while it lasted.

http://neutroiscrochet.tumblr.com/post/98758937764/jobhaver-im-sure-most-of-my-followers-on-here

jobhaver:

Im sure most of my followers on here are at least peripherally aware of a page I help moderate called transhousingnetwork because I reblog posts from there often.

It is a page where trans people who are in need of shelter (most often temporary, emergency shelter) but who are…

Source: jobhaver

In happier posts: I love it when my dash puts silly but appropriate things right next to each other. heh.

In happier posts: I love it when my dash puts silly but appropriate things right next to each other. heh.

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oh, I missed the Once Upon a Time premiere.

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Look at all the fucks I give.  :crickets in an empty room:

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Sorry.  No lasting storylines for POC princesses, no lasting storyline for clearly gay princesses, but the addition of MORE AND MORE AND MORE white straight princesses.  ooooo let me settle in for more of THAT! (and before you come at me with- But Frozen is so popular, they’re just trying to cash in on it’s popularity- yeah, I get it.  But you know what would also be popular?  Some NOT WHITE PEOPLE as permanent cast members and lasting storylines)

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I’m over it.  Once it became clear that the Mulan storyline was simple a token shot I pretty much stopped giving a shit. I’m pretty well done with “attractive white straight fairy-tale people trapped in a small town/forest/fairy world by long lost previously unknown family member” storylines.  

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Welp, got shafted, but it’s my own fault.  Found an old solid gold bracelet of mom’s that’s been floating in my bag waiting to be sold.  Took it to pawn without looking at gold rates first.

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Good news is I got just enough $ to keep me covered till my next check, but WAYYYYYY less than I could have gotten if I’d gone in informed.

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:shrug:

Oh well.  

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In the next 2 weeks I have:

-Neurology follow up $60
-Sleep Clinic Initial apt $60
-Lolliebombs show 2tix $50

Amount in my bank account: <$200.

Next disability check? Oct. 13th.

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Uhhhh hmmm.

I either need to sell more stuff like, now… or see if Jenelle can spot for the tickets this month.

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Getting that fucking check the 2ND week of the month fucking blows, and the fact that it was $100 short this month compared to the last 2- seriously fucked shit up.  I’m glad to get it so i don’t have to constantly depend on other people, but sometimes it’s super frustrating.